Sunday, October 24, 2010

'Bus'y Body

Why is it that when you want to board a bus,the entire populace at the bus stop also harbors similar thoughts and jumps in with you? Traveling in a RTC bus is nothing short of heroic and everybody who makes it to their destination in one piece is a hero in my book.You arrive at the bus stop,wearing your best work dress,with a carefree smile on your lips,a song or two perhaps in your heart.You look around the milieu,people milling all around the various scattered bus stops.There is a general din of chatter,the blaring honking sounds make you wish you were deaf and you try to fight off a most determined fly hell bent upon making its home on top of your nose,when all of a sudden,the bus looms in the corner.The big blue and red bus charges its way towards your stop and you begin to feel energized.But as it slowly trudges up to you,about a hundred people materialize out of nowhere.You blink in surprise.Are these magic people?Your surprise gives way to a slowly but steadily rising panic as you realize that the magic people will take over the bus and there won't be any spot left for you.At first,you politely stand in the queue and let you humanness shine."What a fellow" and "Such a genial species of the human race" are the remarks you hear in your head when you see the queue quickly dissolve into a mass of humanity,all intent upon squeezing inside the bus.You abandon all thoughts of humanness and savagely enter the bus only to be knocked aside,jerked hither and thither by one of the magic people who does not possess a dictionary and therefore doesn't know what the word "diet" means.
There you are.All squashed up against a metal pole which eats into your ribs every time the bus jerks forward.People all around you are hanging onto the metal bars for dear life.Some find space on the floor of the bus and take their positions with a firm resolve.You cannot feel your limbs,they have been detached from your body and will reassemble when your stop comes.Somehow you manage to extricate money to pay for the ticket and in the process,lose your change.You grope around in the sea of people,inviting glares and curses from the bus populace.When you come up,exhausted with your exertions,you find to your dismay that all the oxygen from the bus has been sucked up.As the level of carbondioxide dangerously increase inside,you wish you had access to a jet plane or were one of the characters in the Harry Potter books.Nice time they must be having,those wizard blokes,flying around on their broomsticks and smirking at the bus people below.
Everybody seems to love this bus.Nobody wants to get down and more people keep entering.The bus is almost a hundred years old and keeps thinking of retiring.It protests in its own small ways;grunting while running,stopping entirely in the middle of a traffic jam and making strange noises each time the gear is changed.
Some people get off.You heave a sigh of relief.Oxygen,which had leapt out of the bus in a frenzy,now decides to return.You breathe in the air,and feel a contented smile creeping up from the depths of your soul.You sit tight on your seat,determined to enjoy the ride,when a family of five climbs up in the bus.After stamping on your toes and crushing your dress,the head of the family squishes one of the kids onto your lap.You don't have a choice but to make sure that the bawling kid does not jump out of the window next to you.Kids,as a general rule,should not be allowed on public buses.And kids less than five years of age should be fined for doing so.They squirm,yowl,punch,scream and think that the bus is owned by their father.You manage a polite smile and wait for the harried mother to get a seat.As soon as she gets one,you happily plonk the kid onto her lap and a major weight is lifted off your chest.
By now,some more people get off and you start feeling brotherly towards them again.Humanity appeals to you as do lofty ideals and notions.There is more of oxygen now and you wave a cheery goodbye to carbondioxide,who slinks off,to find another bus.Your stop approaches and you stagger off the bus.You enter the bus feeling on top of the world and you get off it praising the Lord for keeping you alive.

2 comments:

  1. Not just buses, but kids should be banned from every public place. Banning them from schools would do too, though that would mean that school will have to be shut down. But oh well.

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  2. Your blogs remind me of John Grisham. Only he and you have all the time in the world to notice even the smallest of the things, and to care enough to jot it down.I too wonder whether this does sound like a compliment??

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